forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
