So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
