The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
