I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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