she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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