Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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