The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
