I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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