Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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