it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Randomize
