what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
