Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
