I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Found the puke drawer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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