feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
