Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize