My Higher Power is John Stamos
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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