seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
