Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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