I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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