I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
