please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
