I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
