2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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