kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
