no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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