dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
