I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
