i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize
