# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize