He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I have aggressive nipples.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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