So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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