Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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