the new term for farting is butt boxing.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize