i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
