I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
