Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
