im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
