Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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