babies were throwing up all over the place
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
