TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
two words: eviction party
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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