is your mom at the bar?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
