I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
