She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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