Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
