I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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