We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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