i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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