i don't like sucking hair
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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