Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize