Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
