I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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