My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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