What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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