Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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