My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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