My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
