I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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