he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
