I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
