Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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