You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
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