SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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