This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
