I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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