whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
