Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize