only if we run a train.
done.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
